My second interview in the 2020 Bride Series is with Stefania, a bride who had to move her wedding with her fiance Fabio from 2020 to 2021. I hope our chat helps put some brides who are stressing at ease and find comfort in knowing their fairytale ending will happen no matter what.
KC: Stefania, thanks so much for sharing your experience as a 2020 bride. I hope talking about all of this is somewhat therapeutic. I can't wait to hear about your journey as a 2020 bride, so if you're ready let's get into it!
SS: Totally, ask me anything, I'm excited. It feels really nice to talk about this.
KC: Alright, let the storytelling begin. Obviously no one wants their wedding to be postponed but how did you feel when you found out your wedding needed to be moved?
SS: At the beginning of May I was getting really nervous, I started hearing that things were going to have major restrictions. So I called my venue and they were so nice, they didn't want me to have to change anything or stress so they said let’s hold off until May 30th. For my own mental health, I decided to just be happy and calm and I always tried to envision myself being filled with tears of joy for so many reasons; being together with our family and celebrating our beautiful day. Fabio and I just being there together. We ended up choosing many of the same vendors my sister did and we were so happy we did because they all made me feel like everything would work out.
KC: You will still have those tears of joy, I know it, just don't ruin your makeup haha. Unfortunately we're still dealing with COVID so if these restrictions are still around will you and your fiancé go ahead with the wedding on the new date you have now re-planned for, or will you move it again?
SS: We decided that if COVID is still an issue we are still going to go through with it no matter what. Whichever way we can, we can’t put our lives on hold. Last year, when we had to make the decision on what we were going to do, it was already May and we were up in the air about changing the date. We were still under heavy restrictions. We have very, very close family in Italy. So, for us it was really difficult to decide. To have them here was really important, even more important than some people here dare I say it. But now looking ahead we still don’t know if they will be able to come. I still may not have my cousins who I pretty much wanted to be in the wedding party because they are in Italy. For Fab, I wanted him to have his family here. My family already got to have the big wedding with my sister. His parents and family haven’t had that yet and I want that for them. Some of the most important people who mattered most to him may not be here because of COVID. He doesn’t have much family here, so I really wanted to push the wedding for him to have them here.
KC: I feel for you guys, I can’t even imagine how hard that must have been making that decision and still having to deal with so much uncertainty ahead after all this time. Looking back would you have gone and done a micro wedding knowing there still may be all these restrictions.
SS: Looking back because of all the uncertainty we are still in I would have gone through with the ceremony and then dealt with everything else afterward because a year later we still might be in the same situation.
KC: If we only had a crystal ball. But I like to believe everything happens for a reason. Has this year changed what you want in a wedding? SS: It’s been a bit of an eye opener. I wanted that big dream wedding. But the idea of a wedding has changed. The ceremony of marriage has become more important. Starting our life together is more important. The big parties and events can be taken away, clearly as we've seen, but your family is forever. They are there for you in all of this. I love the idea of the big wedding, I wanted it. I still do. If I can have it great, what’s most important is marrying Fab. That’s what’s most important, that’s all I want. KC: Aww! That’s really beautiful. You two make a great couple, so I know the day will be amazing no matter what. But I am hopeful that your new wedding date has no restrictions. It will be perfect! Speaking of perfection, what is happening with your wedding dress, is it still perfect to you, or are you making a change? SS: I am actually obsessed with my dress! From the second I bought that dress it was my dream dress. Even now when I’m looking through magazines no other dress that I see gives me that feeling. I’m on the fence about getting a second dress for the evening, only because I still don’t know if my big wedding will even happen. Hopefully by March I’ll know.
KC: Oh that's amazing, I can't wait to see it! The dress is my favourite part of the wedding. So the dress is clearly not a challenge. But what would you say the biggest challenge in all of this was?
SS: The biggest challenge was actually coming to terms with okay now we need to move it. I need to change my wedding day. May 30th, that was the day it all happened. I remember it like it was yesterday I made the phone call to the church first and talking to them they were so comforting; it put me at ease. But I just told myself this has to be done. Then a bit of guilt set it in because you're sad about moving your wedding and there are so many worse things in life. People around the world are dealing with so much more. I’ll get my day however it happens whenever. So I felt a lot of guilt but I know I am entitled to my feelings too.
KC: Ugh I get that, but you're 1000% entitled to feel any and all of those things. I think you saying that will make a lot of women and couples feel validated with their own similar feelings. Your wedding day is supposed to be one of if not the best day of your life. I see you have a big heart though still thinking of others. Were you a bride that had been dreaming of or planning her wedding since she was a little girl? SS: I didn’t dream of my wedding as a little girl but I always loved weddings. I could re-watch the royal wedding and just be in love and aw with that wedding atmosphere. You’re marrying the love of your life. It's a fairytale. KC: I get that, I'm very similar to you in that way. Who doesn't love a pretty dress and a happy ending? In this crazy story leading up to your fairytale ending, how have all your vendors been with all of the changes, were you able to make everything work for the new date?
SS: Haha, well I had heard horror stories so I was worried, but I had amazing relationships with my vendors. I know these businesses are in a state of they don’t know if they are going to be around tomorrow so I feel for them. I was very anxious and stressed because everything was paid for. In that 3 hours that we were making the phone calls I believe I had some angels on my side because everything worked out. Everything aligned for this new date. Everyone was so understanding because this was still the beginning of the pandemic no one asked for money. My florist has been amazing, I’m obsessed with her. All of the vendors were the reason I could be at ease with moving the day. They are making your vision happen. I chose the right vendors. They became like family. The new wedding will look the same as the original wedding; simple and elegant. They have an outdoor option just in case we are not able to have it indoors but there would be an extra cost; better than nothing. KC: Wow that’s amazing and not always the case. I’m happy you didn’t have any added stress. I think just being a 2020 bride was enough. I know the wedding being moved wasn’t in your plan but were you at least able to have a shower or was that also postponed? SS: My shower was cancelled unfortunately, it was originally June 26 and it was the best weather, I was so upset. I do have a new date as of right now; it's May 2nd. Everything is going to be the same. What I’ve done is I have an A, B and C list. It’s sad because I obviously want everyone on my A list with me but I it is what it is. I have done the same for the wedding. KC: You're being very proactive with those list, very smart! But my god you had a lot thrown at you. In all this chaos how did your fiancé handle all of this? SS: My fiancé is so easy going and he felt bad too. He always says I envisioned myself married to you. He said 'we'll get through this together and I’ll make the phone calls' because I was in tears. We are a team, we think so much alike and we are the same page, he's my rock. We were both okay and wanted to give it a chance. KC: You're so lucky to have such an easy going guy. I wish we could talk about wedding stuff all day, I really loved talking to you, you are such a bright light. Your positivity is amazing and inspiring. Is there anything you’d like to add, maybe some advice to some other brides dealing with the COVID blues or just brides in general? SS: Some advice for my fellow brides, take a deep breath you will have your day, you just have to be positive. Have a positive mindset and amazing things will happen. You’ll be in a better place mentally, try and look at things in a new light when you don’t feel positive. The most important thing is getting married to your soul mate, however it is supposed to happen.
Xx
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